Lonely

Sometimes I surround myself
with the opposite of emptiness,
with everything I’m lonely for –
water, fish, seaweed and sky.
I’m not lonely when I swim
in the arms of something greater.

I first became lonely in my crib,
when I cried and no one came.
When I grew older, the winter sun
said goodbye too early,
and my parents walked their sad,
separate paths to sleep.

Married, and a mother,
filled with wonder and love,
I tended others,
but sometimes I was still lonely.
Lonely as a sore throat.
Lonely as a child singing in the dark.

Loneliness is born of the past,
lives in the present,
and stalks the future.
Loneliness is what can never be
though what can never be
is often yearned for.

-Freya Manfred

“Lonely” was commissioned as part of the 2018 Source SongBook, celebrating the festival’s 5th anniversary. It was premiered on August 5th 2018 at Westminster Hall in Minneapolis, MN by Tracey Engleman, soprano & Mary Jo Gothmann, piano.

I remember that I really enjoyed working with the composer on this piece— the coaching with her was invaluable! I love the way that the vocal line highlights the yearning in the text. -MJG

This text is so beautiful and describes how feelings of loneliness can weave through a lifetime. The poet describes how these feelings dissipate when we are connected to the world around us or during different stages of life, but can be connected to our past, present and future. Sometimes loneliness is something we want to escape and other times, something we long for. Musically, this is quite vocally challenging because of the angular nature of the vocal line, long phrases, and dissonance between the voice and the piano. The most difficult part is the very first phrase; I suggest that the singer have their pitch CLEARLY in their ear prior to the start because the ambiguous sounds of the piano make it difficult to find the first notes. Rhythmically, I would suggest practicing with a very clear sense of the 8th note as the ties in the vocal line and piano create some cross rhythms. It is easy to get caught in a triplet, so watch the duple values scattered throughout. The actual rhythms in the vocal line make elocution of the text very organic, so with clear vowels, it is very possible to have clearly intelligible text despite the many leaps. - TE

Martha Helen Schmidt is a composer from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has taught piano, flute, voice, and theory/composition at the elementary, secondary, and college levels. She recently retired from a teaching career to further her passion for composing. Ms. Schmidt holds music degrees from Lawrence University Conservatory of Music and Ithaca College. She had the great privilege of studying with one of the finest teachers of the 20th century, Nadia Boulanger, at the Conservatoire Américain in Fontainebleau, France. While there, she also studied with Louise Talma and Annette Dieudonne. Other composition teachers include James Ming, Libby Larsen, and Pulitzer Prize winners Steven Stucky and Karel Husa.

Ms. Schmidt has found her passion lies in writing Art Songs and song cycles. Her song cycle “I Open and Fill with Love,” is her second set of songs based on the poetry of Rumi. It was highly received at its premiere in Paris and Fontainebleau, France including a performance at the 90th Anniversary Jubilee of the Conservatoire Américain. Ms. Schmidt has choral octavos published by the Theodore Presser Company and self publishes most of her works.

www.marthahelenschmidt.com

Freya Manfred is a Minnesota poet who lives in Stillwater with her husband, screenwriter Thomas Pope. She attended Macalaster College and Stanford University, and has received a Radcliff Grant and a National Endowment for the Arts Grant. She has written nine books of poetry which have received critical acclaim. Her sixth collection, "Swimming With A Hundred Year Old Snapping Turtle," won the 2009 Midwest Bookseller’s Choice Award for Poetry, and her poems have appeared in countless reviews, magazines, and anthologies. She also wrote a memoir called “Frederick Manfred: A Daughter Remembers” which is about her father who was a famous author. Visit her website at: www.freyamanfred.com