I spent a long time trying to think of how best to convey the idea of OCD in music; ultimately, I took inspiration from György Ligeti’s Musica Ricercata III, Allegro con spirito where the composer uses only 4 notes in the whole piece. I thought this idea would be good for symbolizing someone that obsessively follows the same pattern, hence why the piano part in this piece only uses the notes E, F, Bb, and Cb (these notes are more dissonant to show that said pattern is not exactly healthy). The singer’s part is very different, with a wider use of all twelve pitch classes. The piano and vocal parts contrast in tonality and rhythm, to show the struggle between the two as they clash against each other. The piano part gets a bit more sparse with each verse, until completely fading out at the end, rendering the singer free from her tormenter, O.

Dear O, I call you O because you are not 
worthy of your other two initials, 
spending your time twisting my logic into 
a salty pretzel, dialing up your best friend, 
Uncertainty, and putting 
on your favorite 
swimsuit, in the back of my brain 
convincing me to go for a swim where 
you intentionally drown me with you. 
Self-sabotage, but O, I wish I could 
hide in camouflage. 

Dear O, I am writing to tell you, 
that I am not you and you are not me, 
crazy. 
You throw me in with your laundry 
and watch me tumble in the dryer. 
Self-destructive, you gain strength 
with each encounter, each time 
I eat your delicious lies for breakfast, 
lunch and dinner, 
and get high off of the fears you 
target.

Dear O, your end is near, 
everytime I confront a fear, 
my exposure, your Kryptonite. 
Dear O, I would rather live than be 
Obsessive.

-Lily Mitchell
used with permission by the author 

Dear, O was performed at Source Song Festival as part of the 2021 MNSong Composer Showcase. it was performed by Victoria Vargas, mezzo-soprano, and Lara Bolton, pianist, via an online broadcast on August 6, 2021.

Nicholas Slaughter (21 y/o) has been playing piano for eleven years and writing music for five. In 2022, he will graduate from University of Redlands (CA) with a Bachelor’s in Music Composition and Piano Performance. He has written works for a variety of settings, including solo piano, piano and voice, string quartet, pierrot ensemble, and wind ensemble. He is also an avid performer, having performed in the premieres of several of his own works. He is a member of the Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia music fraternity, and currently the Vice President of the Delta Pi chapter.

Further information is available at: nick.t.slaughter@gmail.com

Lily Mitchell is a recent graduate of the B.A. Creative Writing program at the University of Redlands. She focuses on poetry and nonfiction, exploring the deeper layers of the everyday and the autobiographical through prose and hybrid forms. When not writing, she can be found playing bass guitar or on the tennis court, teaching students as a USPTA certified professional tennis coach.

Connect with Lily here: www.instagram.com/calilil